All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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