This girl is more easily done than said...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
