she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
