Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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