So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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