It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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