So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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