mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
40s are totally the cure
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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