So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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