I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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