I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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