I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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