Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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