I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize