I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
