I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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