so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
