At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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