Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You have to summon your inner elephant
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
