do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
