So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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