the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
