redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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