I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
