ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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