I am puke
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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