Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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