In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
