Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
