we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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