It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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