I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw