so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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