their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize