we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
