So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
