She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
