Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
