Having a random hookup so left but love u
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
