i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it's like heaven, but drunker
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
