i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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