so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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