I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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