Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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