She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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