no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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