They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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