i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
