i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
