Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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