The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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