What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
