4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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