so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize