i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
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This house was built for laser tag.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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