I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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