remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
